Tag: Humor

  • Book of the Day: Seriously…I’m Kidding

    Seriously...I'm KiddingSeriously…I’m Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres

    ⭐⭐⭐ TODAY ONLY ⭐⭐⭐
    Over 700 5-Star Reviews!

    Ellen Degeneres’ winning, upbeat candor has made her show one of the most popular, resilient and honored daytime shows on the air, and her life makes for great (and very funny) reading.

    "I’ve experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you’ll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I’ve put together for you in this book. I think you’ll find I’ve left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I’m saying is, let us begin, shall we?"

    Seriously… I’m Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more.

    Click Here to Start Reading!

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  • Wednesday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Wednesday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Mystery, Humor, Nonfiction, Historical Fiction, Thriller, Contemporary Fiction, Cookbooks, Young Adult… today’s featured books have a little something for everyone!

    Like what you see? Got friends who like to read? Use Facebook to SHARE Pixel of Ink and share the joy!

    For non-U.S. readers, Kindle content availability and pricing will vary.

    That Olde White Magick (An Abracadabra Mystery) It’s time to work her crime-solving magic again…

    Kailyn Wilde enjoys running her shop, Abracadabra, in the quaint New York hamlet of New Camel, where she lives with her six cats. Her family’s been here for centuries, and she’d like to keep up the tradition. But the place may never be the same if a big hotel gets built, so she does her civic duty and attends a town meeting along with her aunt Tilly… and Merlin. Yes, that Merlin—though he gets introduced to folks as her “distant English cousin.” The wizard is pretty grumpy about being transported here, but there are things about the modern world he doesn’t mind—like pizza.

    Kailyn was prepared for a heated debate about the hotel, but she wasn’t expecting murder. When Tilly finds the body of a board member outside the schoolhouse, Kailyn doesn’t want any suspicion cast on the wrong person. She plans to crack this case, even if she has to talk to every living soul in town—plus a few departed ones…

    Click Here for the best price!


    Let's Start A Riot: How A Young Drunk Punk became A Hollywood Dad A biting, funny, always revealing collection of personal stories from the legendary Kid in the Hall, comedian, writer and director, Bruce McCulloch.

    Comedian, writer, director and legendary Kid in the Hall Bruce McCulloch chronicles his journey from wild early days as a ‘young punk’ in 80’s Alberta, to his flannel plaid days and futon nights in 90’s Toronto, to becoming a ‘pajama-clad dad’ living in the Hollywood Hills.

    From scowling teenager to father of two, this biting, funny collection of personal stories, peppered with moments of surprising poignancy, proves that although this infamous Kid may be all grown up, his singular brand of humor and signature wit remain firmly intact.

    Click Here for the best price!


    Don't Eat This If You're Taking That: The Hidden Risks of Mixing Food and Medicine NBC Today show nutrition and diet guru Madelyn Fernstrom and award-winning neuroscientist and pharmacologist John Fernstrom —partnering with AARP— present the ultimate guide to food and medicine interaction.

    Millions of Americans take prescription drugs to treat diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, or other conditions. But beware: The foods you eat and the medications you take could be working against each other.

    Don’t Eat This If You’re Taking That takes the mystery out of food and medication interactions. This easy-to-use guide details foods that can interfere with the action of the medication—whether taken for the short or long term. In this book, readers can easily find a medication, see what foods to avoid, and make smart swaps.

    We all believe a diet rich in colorful fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and low-fat dairy products is part of healthy eating—right? Not always. Dr. Fernstrom explains exactly what foods to avoid when and why. For instance:

    • If you’re taking cholesterol medicine, you should cut out—or cut down on—grapefruit.
    • On a blood thinner? Avoid dark green veggies.
    • If you’re on thyroid medication, nix the soy.
    • …And more small diet changes with big health payoffs!

    Click Here for the best price!


    Katherine of Aragon, The True Queen: A Novel (Six Tudor Queens) Over 200 5-Star Reviews!

    Bestselling author and acclaimed historian Alison Weir takes on what no fiction writer has done before: creating a dramatic six-book series in which each novel covers one of King Henry VIII’s wives. In this captivating opening volume, Weir brings to life the tumultuous tale of Katherine of Aragon, Henry’s first, devoted, and “true” queen.
     
    A princess of Spain, Catalina is only sixteen years old when she sets foot on the shores of England. The youngest daughter of the powerful monarchs Ferdinand and Isabella, Catalina is a coveted prize for a royal marriage—and Arthur, Prince of Wales, and heir to the English throne, has won her hand. But tragedy strikes and Catalina, now Princess Katherine, is betrothed to the future Henry VIII. She must wait for his coming-of-age, an ordeal that tests her resolve, casts doubt on her trusted confidantes, and turns her into a virtual prisoner.
     
    Katherine’s patience is rewarded when she becomes Queen of England. The affection between Katherine and Henry is genuine, but forces beyond her control threaten to rend her marriage, and indeed the nation, apart. Henry has fallen under the spell of Katherine’s maid of honor, Anne Boleyn. Now Katherine must be prepared to fight, to the end if God wills it, for her faith, her legitimacy, and her heart.

    Click Here for the best price!


    The Perk Over 600 5-Star Reviews!

    Beck Hardin returns to his Texas hometown – and his estranged father – after the death of his wife leaves him with two children to raise.

    The town is still reeling from the murder of sixteen-year-old Heidi, whose father – Beck’s old college friend – asks Beck to help him find Heidi’s killer before the statute of limitations runs out. Meanwhile, Beck is pushed into becoming town Judge, and he makes some powerful enemies amongst the rich white landowners when he refuses to condone their treatment of the Mexican workers of the town.

    As events escalate, the landowners carefully plot their revenge…

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    Family Tree: A Novel Over 400 5-Star Reviews!

    From #1 New York Times bestselling author comes a powerful, emotionally complex story of love, loss, the pain of the past—and the promise of the future.

    Sometimes the greatest dream starts with the smallest element. A single cell, joining with another. And then dividing. And just like that, the world changes.

    Annie Harlow knows how lucky she is. The producer of a popular television cooking show, she loves her handsome husband and the beautiful Los Angeles home they share. And now, she’s pregnant with their first child. But in an instant, her life is shattered. And when Annie awakes from a yearlong coma, she discovers that time isn’t the only thing she’s lost…

    Family Tree is the story of one woman’s triumph over betrayal, and how she eventually comes to terms with her past. It is the story of joys unrealized and opportunities regained. Complex, clear-eyed and big-hearted, funny, sad, and wise, it is a novel to cherish and to remember.

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    The American Table: Classic Comfort Food from Across the Country All your favorite blue plate specials in one cookbook!

    Like its people, American food is a melting pot of tastes and textures. Now flavors from every corner of the country are brought together in one soul-satisfying cookbook. Worthy of any diner’s daily special board, these recipes are the real deal: wholesome, filling favorites that will bring the entire family to the table. You’ll be transported back to your grandmother’s kitchen as you dig into classics like:

    • Chicken Pot Pie
    • Fried Catfish
    • Sloppy Joes
    • Roast Beef Hash
    • All-American Apple Pie
    • Depression Cake
    • And many more favorites!

    True American food is the result of hearty people, bountiful farms, and innovative spirit. Author Larry Edwards honors that tradition in The American Table as he invites you to pull up a chair and share a story or two. Plan your next family gathering with this collection of quintessential recipes from around the country.

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    On the Loose (A Katie Parker Production, Book 2) Six months into her stay with her foster parents, Katie Parker is finally adjusting to her new family. But when a tornado rips through the town of In Between, nothing is ever the same.

    When her foster mom, Millie, is diagnosed with cancer, Katie begins to doubt if God really does care. What will happen to Katie? Could she possibly have to leave In Between and the family she’s come to depend on? Things spiral even further out of control when Katie juggles a malfunctioning best friend, Spring Break plans, and holding the attention of her own Prince Charming.

    It’s going to take more than a glass slipper and some fairy dust to fix Katie’s problems. But will help come in time?

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    FIFTY YEARS OF FEAR (Dark Lives Book 1) Could you forgive murder? What if it was something worse?

    A childhood accident robs Vincent of his memories, causing him to become sensitive and anxious around others. His differences attract bullies, and he comes to rely heavily on the support of his family.

    After the devastating loss of his parents, a remarkable woman teaches him to embrace life and, little by little, he realises the world is far more forgiving than he imagined. When fragments of his memory return, he begins to unravel his past.

    Who was his mother? What kind of a man is his brother, Frank? And why does death surround them?

    Fate is cruel. History is dark. Things are not as they seem.

    Perhaps he should have stayed at home.

    Click Here for the best price!


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  • Sunday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Sunday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Fantasy, Humor, Thriller, Mystery, Romance, Biographies & Memoirs, Science Fiction… today’s featured books have a little something for everyone!

    Like what you see? Got friends who like to read? Use Facebook to SHARE Pixel of Ink and share the joy!

    For non-U.S. readers, Kindle content availability and pricing will vary.

    Magonia Magonia is a fiercely intelligent, multilayered fantasy where Stardust meets The Fault in Our Stars in a story about a girl caught between two worlds…. two races… and two destinies.

    Aza Ray Boyle is drowning in thin air. Since she was a baby, Aza has suffered from a mysterious lung disease that makes it ever harder for her to breathe, to speak—to live. So when Aza catches a glimpse of a ship in the sky, her family chalks it up to a cruel side effect of her medication. But Aza doesn’t think this is a hallucination. She can hear someone on the ship calling her name.

    Only her best friend, Jason, listens. Jason, who’s always been there. Jason, for whom she might have more-than-friendly feelings. But before Aza can consider that thrilling idea, something goes terribly wrong. Aza is lost to our world—and found, by another. Magonia.

    Above the clouds, in a land of trading ships, Aza is not the weak and dying thing she was. In Magonia, she can breathe for the first time. Better, she has immense power—but as she navigates her new life, she discovers that war between Magonia and Earth is coming. In Aza’s hands lies fate of the whole of humanity—including the boy who loves her. Where do her loyalties lie?

    Click Here for the best price!


    You Can't Touch My Hair: And Other Things I Still Have to Explain Over 100 5-Star Reviews!

    A hilarious and timely essay collection about race, gender, and pop culture from upcoming comedy superstar and 2 Dope Queens podcaster Phoebe Robinson

    Being a black woman in America means contending with old prejudices and fresh absurdities every day. Comedian Phoebe Robinson has experienced her fair share over the years: she’s been unceremoniously relegated to the role of “the black friend,” as if she is somehow the authority on all things racial; she’s been questioned about her love of U2 and Billy Joel (“isn’t that…white people music?”); she’s been called “uppity” for having an opinion in the workplace; she’s been followed around stores by security guards; and yes, people do ask her whether they can touch her hair all. the. time. Now, she’s ready to take these topics to the page—and she’s going to make you laugh as she’s doing it.

    Using her trademark wit alongside pop-culture references galore, Robinson explores everything from why Lisa Bonet is “Queen. Bae. Jesus,” to breaking down the terrible nature of casting calls, to giving her less-than-traditional advice to the future female president, and demanding that the NFL clean up its act, all told in the same conversational voice that launched her podcast, 2 Dope Queens, to the top spot on iTunes. As personal as it is political, You Can’t Touch My Hair examines our cultural climate and skewers our biases with humor and heart, announcing Robinson as a writer on the rise.

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    Beneath the Skin: A dark psychological thriller with a stunning twist Three women. Three secrets.

    Antonia is beautiful and happily married. Her life is perfect. So why does she hurt herself when nobody’s watching?

    Sophie is witty, smart and married to the best-looking man in town. She likes a drink, but who doesn’t?

    Olivia is pretending to be a happy wife and mother. But her secret could tear her family apart.

    Their lies start small, they always do. But if they don’t watch out, the consequences will be deadly…

    Click Here for the best price!


    Alpha Alpine: An Emma Lord Mystery (Emma Lord Returns) Emma Lord is back and better than ever! This time around, the amateur detective partners up with a rookie sleuth to investigate a string of murders in her beloved Alpine, Washington.

    For a small town nestled in the Cascade Mountains’ foothills, picturesque Alpine provides more than enough headlines to fill the pages of editor and publisher Emma Lord’s Alpine Advocate. The Labor Day edition’s lead story features controversial timber baron Jack Blackwell’s scheme to become Skykomish county manager. But the recent strangling deaths of two young women are all anyone can talk about.

    After a third body is found, Emma’s husband, Sheriff Milo Dodge, suspects there’s a serial killer in their midst. The latest victim is the sister of a dashing newcomer rumored to be working for Blackwell. “Black Jack,” as he’s known to his non-admirers, has a long-standing rivalry with Milo. To discover if there’s any connection between the mogul and the murders, Emma recruits the Advocate’s receptionist, Alison Lindahl, to do a little digging. 

    Still recovering from a recent breakup, Alison welcomes the distraction. But when the investigation puts the eager protégé in the line of fire, Emma worries that the cub reporter’s career will be over before it even begins.

    Click Here for the best price!


    180 Seconds Over 500 5-Star Reviews!

    Some people live their entire lives without changing their perspective. For Allison Dennis, all it takes is 180 seconds…

    After a life spent bouncing from one foster home to the next, Allison is determined to keep others at arm’s length. Adopted at sixteen, she knows better than to believe in the permanence of anything. But as she begins her third year in college, she finds it increasingly difficult to disappear into the white noise pouring from her earbuds.

    One unsuspecting afternoon, Allison is roped into a social experiment just off campus. Suddenly, she finds herself in front of a crowd, forced to interact with a complete stranger for 180 seconds. Neither she, nor Esben Baylor, the dreamy social media star seated opposite her, is prepared for the outcome.

    When time is called, the intensity of the experience overwhelms Allison and Esben in a way that unnerves and electrifies them both. With a push from her oldest friend, Allison embarks on a journey to find out if what she and Esben shared is the real thing—and if she can finally trust in herself, in others, and in love.

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    Murder of a Movie Star: A Posie Parker Mystery (The Posie Parker Mystery Series Book 5) LIGHTS, CAMERA, MURDER…

    London, 1923. As England swelters during the hottest summer on record, Posie Parker, Private Detective, is summoned to Worton Hall Film Studios, where she steps into the heart of a sinister new mystery.

    Silvia Hanro, the famously beautiful movie star, has received death threats alongside her morning coffee, and Posie is tasked with protecting her. Aided by her good friends Lady Dolly Cardigeon and Chief Inspector Richard Lovelace, Posie soon realises that behind the cheap canvas sets and the dreamy glamour of Worton Hall Studios a dreadful secret lays buried, and traitors lurk everywhere.

    And then, good as their word, the killer strikes…

    Can Posie unravel the clues and uncover the murderer before they kill again?

    Click Here for the best price!


    Lion (Movie Tie-In) Over 200 5-Star Reviews!

    Now a major motion picture starring Dev Patel, Nicole Kidman, and Rooney Mara—nominated for six Academy Awards!

    This is the miraculous and triumphant story of Saroo Brierley, a young man who used Google Earth to rediscover his childhood life and home in an incredible journey from India to Australia and back again…

    At only five years old, Saroo Brierley got lost on a train in India. Unable to read or write or recall the name of his hometown or even his own last name, he survived alone for weeks on the rough streets of Calcutta before ultimately being transferred to an agency and adopted by a couple in Australia.

    Despite his gratitude, Brierley always wondered about his origins. Eventually, with the advent of Google Earth, he had the opportunity to look for the needle in a haystack he once called home, and pore over satellite images for landmarks he might recognize or mathematical equations that might further narrow down the labyrinthine map of India. One day, after years of searching, he miraculously found what he was looking for and set off to find his family.

    Lion is a moving, poignant, and inspirational true story of survival and triumph against incredible odds. It celebrates the importance of never letting go of what drives the human spirit: hope.

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    Gifted Thief (Highland Magic Book 1) Orphan. Runaway. Thief.

    Since the moment I was ripped from my mother’s womb, I’ve been an outcast amongst my own kind. The Sidhe might possess magical Gifts, unbelievable wealth and unfathomable power but I don’t want a thing to do with them. I ran away from their lands in the Highlands of Scotland when I was eleven years old and I’ve never looked back. I don’t need a Clan. I’ve got my own family of highly skilled thieves who mean more to me than any Sidhe ever could.

    Unfortunately for me, the playboy heir to the Moncrieffe Clan has something I desperately need. To get it back, I’m going to have to plunge myself back into that world, no matter what the consequences may be. I suppose it’s just as well I have sense of humour. I think I’m going to need it.

    Click Here for the best price!


    Children of Zero (The Planet Zero Trilogy Book 1) Earth might be humanity’s only home in the universe, but there are other universes out there waiting to be discovered. Some of them have already discovered us.

    Merrick Kettle has a menial job on an American military base in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Depressed, directionless and unhappy with his life choices, he’s looking for a new start – a start that will help him erase the mistakes of his past.

    A universe away, a skilled and ruthless swordswoman named Saeliko is the quartermaster of a feared privateering vessel in the Sollian Sea. Ambitious and fearless, wickedly curved scimitar in hand, she plans to spark a mutiny and lead her crew into a life of violent piracy.

    Neither of them could possibly know that their lives are about to intersect. Nor can they comprehend that their actions might determine the fate not just of their own worlds, but scores of others in the connected multiverse.

    For Merrick to survive, he’ll need to come to grips with a new reality while battling his own insecurities. For Saeliko to survive, she’ll need to be as clever as she is deadly.

    Children of Zero is a fast-paced adventure that crosses over between science fiction and fantasy to create a tale of grand conspiracy, treachery and unlikely heroes.

    Click Here for the best price!


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  • AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 A Dirty Job

    AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 A Dirty Job

    A new deal every day from Audible. Today’s deal ends 04/06/2018 @ 11:59PM PT.

    A Dirty JobA Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

    Over 4,000 5-Star Reviews!

    Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy, the kind of fellow who makes his way through life by being careful and constant. And Charlie’s been lucky. He’s married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy, and who is about to have their first child.

    Yes, Charlie’s doing okay. That is, until the day his daughter, Sophie, is born. Just as Charlie turns to go home, he sees a strange man in mint-green golf wear at his wife’s bedside, a man who claims that no one should be able to see him. But see him Charlie does, and from here on out, things get really weird…

    People start dropping dead around him. It seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death. It’s a dirty job. But hey, somebody’s gotta do it.

    Bestselling author Christopher Moore now shines his comic light on the undiscovered country we all eventually explore — death and dying — and the results are hilarious, heartwarming, and a hell of a lot of fun.

    Click Here to Start Listening!

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  • AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Living with a SEAL

    AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Living with a SEAL

    A new deal every day from Audible. Today’s deal ends 04/05/2018 @ 11:59PM PT.

    Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the PlanetLiving with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet by Jesse Itzler

    Over 3,000 5-Star Reviews!

    Entrepreneur Jesse Itzler will try almost anything. He brazenly pretended to be an established hip-hop artist to secure a meeting with a studio head – and it led to a record deal. He convinced a bunch successful business executives to invest in an unprecedented business plan – and it turned into Marquis Jet. He sincerely offered to run a 100-mile race in Spanx to get the attention of the beautiful founder of the company – and ended up marrying her.

    His life is about being bold and risky. And it’s brought him plenty of rewards.

    So when Jesse felt himself drifting on autopilot, he hired a rather unconventional trainer to live with him for a month – an accomplished Navy SEAL widely considered to be "the toughest man on the planet"!

    Living with a SEAL is like a buddy movie if it starred the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air…and Rambo. Jesse is about as easy-oing as you can get. SEAL is…not. He even shows up at Jesse’s apartment with an inflatable raft just in case the Itzler family ever has to escape Manhattan by crossing the Hudson River.

    Jesse and SEAL’s escapades soon produce a great friendship, and by the time SEAL leaves, Jesse is in the best shape of his life, but he gains much more than muscle. At turns hilarious and inspiring, Living with a SEAL ultimately shows you the benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone.

    Click Here to Start Listening!

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  • Tuesday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Tuesday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    War, Romance, Young Adult, Humor, Western, Contemporary Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery… today’s featured books have a little something for everyone!

    Like what you see? Got friends who like to read? Use Facebook to SHARE Pixel of Ink and share the joy!

    For non-U.S. readers, Kindle content availability and pricing will vary.

    Ashley's War: The Untold Story of a Team of Women Soldiers on the Special Ops Battlefield In 2010, the Army created Cultural Support Teams, a secret pilot program to insert women alongside Special Operations soldiers battling in Afghanistan.

    The Army reasoned that women could play a unique role on Special Ops teams: accompanying their male colleagues on raids and, while those soldiers were searching for insurgents, questioning the mothers, sisters, daughters and wives living at the compound. Their presence had a calming effect on enemy households, but more importantly, the CSTs were able to search adult women for weapons and gather crucial intelligence. They could build relationships—woman to woman—in ways that male soldiers in an Islamic country never could.

    In Ashley’s War, Gayle Tzemach Lemmon uses on-the-ground reporting and a finely tuned understanding of the complexities of war to tell the story of CST-2, a unit of women hand-picked from the Army to serve in this highly specialized and challenging role. The pioneers of CST-2 proved for the first time, at least to some grizzled Special Operations soldiers, that women might be physically and mentally tough enough to become one of them.

    The price of this professional acceptance came in personal loss and social isolation: the only people who really understand the women of CST-2 are each other. At the center of this story is a friendship cemented by “Glee,” video games, and the shared perils and seductive powers of up-close combat. At the heart of the team is the tale of a beloved and effective soldier, Ashley White.

    Click Here for the best price!


    The Best Is Yet To Come: New York Sullivans Spinoff (Summer Lake, Book 1) Over 100 5-Star Reviews!

    High school sweethearts. Passionate lovers. Once upon a time, Sarah Bartow and Calvin Vaughn were everything to each other. Until big dreams–and an even bigger tragedy–tore them apart.

    Ten years after good-bye, they’re finally together again at Summer Lake in the Adirondacks…and the sparks between them are hotter than ever. Soon one kiss is turning into so much more. Not only breathtaking, sizzling lovemaking–but also deep, honest emotions that can’t be denied.

    Calvin refuses to let the ambitions and disasters that separated them a decade ago wreck them this time. Not when he knows for sure that Sarah is his one–his only–true love. He let her get away once. He won’t make the same mistake again. Even if it means risking his entire heart, and every last piece of his soul, to show her they belong together now…and forever.

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    Done Dirt Cheap Tourmaline Harris’s life hit pause at fifteen, when her mom went to prison because of Tourmaline’s unintentionally damning testimony. But at eighteen, her home life is stable, and she has a strong relationship with her father, the president of a local biker club known as the Wardens.

    Virginia Campbell’s life hit fast-forward at fifteen, when her mom “sold” her into the services of Hazard, a powerful attorney: a man for whom the law is merely a suggestion.

    When Hazard sets his sights on dismantling the Wardens, he sends in Virginia, who has every intention of selling out the club—and Tourmaline. But the two girls are stronger than the circumstances that brought them together, and their resilience defines the friendship at the heart of this powerful debut novel.

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    I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting Over 1,000 5-Star Reviews!

    Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog.

    Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it’s all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole.

    When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. At times like these, it’s only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it’s against the law (and there’s the suicide hotline). Plus, there’s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.

    In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you’ll wish you were wearing a diaper.

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    Sunset Pass: A Western Story Trueman Rock is a daring young cowboy and rider. Six years ago he had to leave the cowtown of Wagontongue because of a history of gunfights and run-ins with bad hombres. Since then, he’s become a man who only uses his gun when he needs to, on rustlers and crooks. Now, he’s returning to his hometown. But things have changed. The town and its people aren’t what they used to be. He expects to find some of his enemies there to welcome him, but instead finds they’re all dead. In their place is the Preston family.

    The Prestons have just about taken over the town of Sunset Pass and reign supreme. But Trueman discovers that there’s a brooding mystery surrounding the Preston clan, centered on Ash, the eldest son. Ash is a cold, vicious, and slippery man. Unfortunately for Trueman, he finds himself falling in love with Thiry Preston, Ash’s sister. Ash holds a jealous love for her and she’ll do just about anything he says, and he’s ruined more than one love-struck cowboy before Trueman came along.

    Trueman Rock’s quest to win over the girl he’s fallen for brings him face-to-face with the sinister true face of the Preston clan and their control of Wagontongue, and he must confront them to be with Thiry and save the town he loves…

    Click Here for the best price!


    Whiskey & Ribbons: A Novel Set in contemporary Louisville, this mesmerizing novel surrounding the death of a police officer is a requiem for marriage, friendship and family.

    Evi—a classically-trained ballerina—was nine months pregnant when her husband Eamon was killed in the line of duty on a steamy morning in July. Now, it is winter, and Eamon’s adopted brother Dalton has moved in to help her raise six-month-old Noah.

    Whiskey & Ribbons is told in three intertwining, melodic voices: Evi in present day, as she’s snowed in with Dalton during a freak blizzard; Eamon before his murder, as he prepares for impending fatherhood and grapples with the danger of his profession; and Dalton, as he struggles to make sense of his life next to Eamon’s, and as he decides to track down the biological father he’s never known.

    In the vein of Jojo Moyes’ After You, Whiskey & Ribbons explores the life that continues beyond loss. It’s a meditation on grief, hope, motherhood, brotherhood and surrogate fatherhood. Above all, it’s a novel about what it means—and whether it’s possible—to heal.

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    Overload Flux: Central Galactic Concordance Book 1 Two loners fighting to stay alive discover they must now save the galaxy.

    Brilliant investigator Luka Foxe must act fast if he’s going to save the civilized planets of the Central Galactic Concordance. For as a pandemic sweeps across the galaxy, someone is stealing the vaccine. To make matters worse, Luka’s hidden mental talents are out of control, leaving him barely able to function in the midst of violence and a rising body count. The convoluted trail leads to a corrupt pharma industry and the possibility of an illegal, planet-sized laboratory. In the face of increasing threats, he must rely on an enigmatic, lethal woman who has secrets of her own.

    Mairwen Morganthur hides extraordinary skills under the guise of a dull night-shift guard. The last thing she wants is to provide personal security for a nova-hot investigator, or to be plunged into a murky case involving sabotage, treachery, and the military covert operations division that would love to discover she’s still alive. Worse, she knows that two more deaths won’t bother their enemies one bit. Their only hope for survival is to share their darkest secrets. With everything in their universe at stake, can they learn to trust one another?

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    The Immortal Crown (Age of X Book 2) Over 800 5-Star Reviews!

    The #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Vampire Academy and Bloodline series returns with the second installment in her acclaimed Age of X series.

    Gameboard of the Gods introduced religious investigator Justin March and Mae Koskinen, the beautiful supersoldier assigned to protect him. Together they have been charged with investigating reports of the supernatural and the return of the gods, both inside the Republic of United North America and out. With this highly classified knowledge comes a shocking revelation: Not only are the gods vying for human control, but the elect—special humans marked by the divine—are turning against one another in bloody fashion.

    Their mission takes a new twist when they are assigned to a diplomatic delegation headed by Lucian Darling, Justin’s old friend and rival, going into Arcadia, the RUNA’s dangerous neighboring country. Here, in a society where women are commodities and religion is intertwined with government, Justin discovers powerful forces at work, even as he struggles to come to terms with his own reluctantly acquired deity.

    Meanwhile, Mae—grudgingly posing as Justin’s concubine—has a secret mission of her own: finding the illegitimate niece her family smuggled away years ago. But with Justin and Mae resisting the resurgence of the gods in Arcadia, a reporter’s connection with someone close to Justin back home threatens to expose their mission—and with it the divine forces the government is determined to keep secret.

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    The Darkest Thread (The Flint K-9 Search and Rescue Mysteries Book 1) Meet Jamie Flint — a no-nonsense veteran K-9 trainer and handler with a ‘gift’ she’d be happy to return: like her dogs, Jamie can sense things the rest of the world is blind to.

    When teenage sisters go missing in the mysterious ‘Bennington Triangle’ of Vermont, an area renowned for its disappearances, and strange occurrences over the past hundred years, FBI agent Jack Juarez brings Jamie and her dog Phantom in to assist with the search.

    When Jack learns that the case shares haunting similarities with the murders of the missing girls’ aunts ten years before, he realizes they’re dealing with much more than two girls who simply wandered off the beaten path. And when a young girl appears in the shadows, visible to Jamie alone, it becomes clear that something is desperately wrong here.

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    Father Found (The Daddy School Series Book 1) Jamie McCoy is the ultimate guy: thirty years old, carefree and professionally successful as the writer of a nationally syndicated humor column called “Guy Stuff.” Nine and a half months ago, he spent a week basking on the beach in Eluthera and indulging in a fling with a woman at the resort. Never did he expect to find the unplanned result of that fling—a healthy, wailing baby named Samantha—strapped into a car seat on his back porch, along with a suitcase full of diapers and infant apparel and a note informing Jamie that he’s her father.

    Maybe he is and maybe he isn’t. But first things first. He’s never fed a baby or changed a diaper in his life. He doesn’t own a crib or a stroller. In a panic, he phones the nearest hospital, where neonatal nurse Allison Winslow takes his call and tells him about a class she teaches called the Daddy School.

    Classes on how to be a dad are exactly what Jamie needs. But when he attends his first class and sees the tall, earnest, amazingly beautiful and even more amazingly competent Allison, he realizes that he might just need more from her than her lectures on how to hold a baby.

    Jamie’s efforts to be a father to this precious baby touch Allison. His sense of humor amuses her. His striking good looks turn her on. But how can she trust the sort of guy who’d sleep with a stranger on vacation, without giving a thought to the consequences? How can she give her heart to such a reckless man?

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  • AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Stinker Lets Loose!

    AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Stinker Lets Loose!

    A new deal every day from Audible. Today’s deal ends 04/01/2018 @ 11:59PM PT.

    Stinker Lets Loose!Stinker Lets Loose!
    by Mike Sacks, James Taylor Johnston

    The outrageous, madcap, and oft-forgotten 1977 cult movie classic is now finally available as a multi-cast audio extravaganza. You ain’t never heard anything like it!

    Bestselling author Mike Sacks has teamed up with director Eric Martin to adapt Stinker Lets Loose! into a fully immersive cinematic audio experience, and an epic all-star cast has come together to introduce Stinker to a whole new generation of fans!

    It’s Smokey and the Bandit meets Every Which Way But Loose. Feel the thrill as Stinker teams up with old pals Boner and Jumbo, plus new friends Buck and Rascal the Chimp, for a crazy ride across the highways and byways of Bicentennial America and meets scores of beautiful Southern gals, reams of treacherous villains, and even the Big Man!

    Will Stinker truly Let Loose? Or will Big Government and the Smokeys bring him down?

    A loving send-up of a bygone era of trucker films and their beer-swillin’, skirt-chasin’, verb-shortenin’ heroes, this audio adventure is a joyride in absurdity; with its rapid-fire jokes only matched by their total outrageousness. But enough of this jaw-jackin’. If you don’t listen, then the joke’s on you!

    Click Here to Start Listening!

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  • Saturday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Saturday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Romance, War, Mystery, Thriller, Cookbooks, Historical Fiction, Humor, Action & Adventure… today’s featured books have a little something for everyone!

    Like what you see? Got friends who like to read? Use Facebook to SHARE Pixel of Ink and share the joy!

    For non-U.S. readers, Kindle content availability and pricing will vary.

    Diamond (Gambler's Daughters Trilogy Book 1) Two dreams could come true for Diamond Houston when her idol, Jesse Eagle, walks into the rundown roadhouse where she is singing for tips. Tall and temptingly handsome, Jesse just might be Diamond’s ticket to Nashville. And Jesse does something special to her when their eyes meet – lighting passionate fires inside Diamond with the unspoken promise of nights to remember…and the one thing she desires most of all: true love.

    The voice of an angel brought Jesse back to this small I town in middle-of-nowhere Tennessee. And now that he’s met Diamond Houston, he is enchanted by much more than her remarkable talent. But proud and beautiful Diamond is nobody’s one-night stand; if he wants her, he’ll have to change his rambling ways. And everything may be what Jesse has to risk if he wants this rare jewel to sparkle for him alone.

    Click Here for the best price!


    Beyond Band of Brothers: The War Memoirs of Major Dick Winters Over 350 5-Star Reviews!

    “Tells the tales left untold by Stephen Ambrose, whose Band of Brothers was the inspiration for the HBO miniseries….laced with Winters’s soldierly exaltations of pride in his comrades’ bravery.”—Publishers Weekly
     
    They were called Easy Company—but their mission was never easy. Immortalized as the Band of Brothers, they suffered 150% casualties while liberating Europe—an unparalleled record of bravery under fire. Winner of the Distinguished Service Cross, Dick Winters was their legendary commander. This is his story—told in his own words for the first time.
     
    On D-Day, Winters assumed leadership of the Band of Brothers when its commander was killed and led them through the Battle of the Bulge and into Germany—by which time each member had been wounded. Based on Winters’s wartime diary, Beyond Band of Brothers also includes his comrades’ untold stories. Virtually none of this material appeared in Stephen Ambrose’s Band of Brothers. Neither a protest against nor a glamorization of war, this is a moving memoir by the man who earned the love and respect of the men of Easy Company—and who is a hero to new generations worldwide.

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    Last Wool and Testament: A Haunted Yarn Shop Mystery In this mystery in the Haunted Yarn Shop series, Kath Rutledge is about to learn the true meaning of TGIF—Thank Goodness It’s Fiber.…

    That’s the name of the spunky group of fiber and needlework artists founded by Ivy McClellan, Kath’s beloved grandmother. Though Ivy has recently passed on, the members still meet regularly at her fiber and fabric shop, The Weaver’s Cat, which Kath has now inherited. But that’s only the first in a series of surprises when Kath returns to the small town of Blue Plum, Tennessee, to settle her grandmother’s affairs.

    There’s been a murder, and it turns out her grandmother was the prime suspect. Before she can begin to clear Ivy’s name, Kath encounters a looming presence in the form of a gloomy ghost. It turns out the specter has just as much interest in solving the murder as Kath. So, with a little help from the members of TGIF—and a stubborn spirit from beyond—she sets out to unravel the clues and hook the real killer…

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    The Secret Mother: A gripping psychological thriller that will have you hooked “Are you my mummy?”

    Tessa Markham returns home to find a child in her kitchen. He thinks she’s his mother. But Tessa doesn’t have any children.

    Not anymore.

    She doesn’t know who the little boy is or how he got there.

    After contacting the police, Tessa is suspected of taking the mystery child. Her whole life is turned upside down. And then her husband reveals a secret of his own…

    Tessa isn’t sure what to believe or who to trust. Because someone is lying. To find out who, she must confront her painful past. But is the truth more dangerous than Tessa realises?

    An absolutely unputdownable psychological thriller with a twist that will make you wonder if you can ever trust anyone again. If you loved Gone Girl, The Girl on the Train and The Sister this book will have you hooked.

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    Summer at Willow Lake (The Lakeshore Chronicles) The Lakeshore Chronicles have captivated thousands of readers with unforgettable characters, warm humor and engaging stories. Summer at Willow Lake is the story that started it all. Meet Olivia, Connor and the families and friends of Willow Lake that make these emotional romances must-reads.

    Olivia Bellamy reluctantly trades a trendy Manhattan summer for her family’s old resort camp in the Catskills to renovate the bungalow colony for her grandparents, who want one last summer together filled with fun, friends and family. A posh resort in its heyday, the camp is now in disarray and Olivia is forced to hire contractor Connor Davis— a still-smoldering flame from her own summers at camp.

    But as the days grow warm, not even the inviting blue waters of Willow Lake can cool the passions flaring or keep shocking secrets at bay. The nostalgic joy of summers past breathes new promise into a special place and people…a promise meant to last long after the season ends.

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    Adventures in Slow Cooking: 120 Slow-Cooker Recipes for People Who Love Food Sarah DiGregorio shares the nostalgia most of us feel when it comes to slow cookers. Her first memory of slow-cooker cooking is her grandmother’s pot roast. While these handy devices have been time savers for incredibly busy lives, traditional slow cooker food is sometimes underwhelming. Now, Sarah, an experienced food professional, has reinvented slow cooking for a generation that cooks for fun and flavor, taking a fresh approach to reclaim this versatile tool without sacrificing quality or taste.

    For Sarah, it’s not just about getting dinner on the table—it’s about using a slow cooker to make fabulous dinners like herb oil poached shrimp or the most perfect sticky toffee pudding for dessert. It’s about rethinking how to use this magic appliance—such as throwing a biryani dinner party with the slow cooker at the center of the table.

    Showcasing a beautiful, engaging design, inviting color photographs, and 105 original, innovative recipes thoroughly tested in a variety of brands of slow cookers, Adventures in Slow Cooking provides a repertoire of delicious food for any time of day. Inside you’ll find ideas for flavorful sweet and savory slow cooker dishes!

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    The Fortunate Pilgrim: A Novel FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE GODFATHER – "A classic… The novel is lifted into literature by its highly charged language, its penetrating insights, and its mixture of tenderness and rage." – New York Times Book Review

    Described by the author as his "best and most literary book." Puzo’s classic story about the loves, crimes and struggles confronted by one family of New York City immigrants living in Hell’s Kitchen. Fresh from the farms in Italy, Lucia Santa struggles to hold her family together in a strange land. At turns poignant, comic and violent, The Fortunate Pilgrim is Italian-American fiction at its very best.

    The book’s hero, Lucia Santa, is an incredibly captivating character and based on Puzo’s very own mother – he describes, "her wisdom, her ruthlessness, and her unconquerable love for her family and for life itself, qualities not valued in women at the time."

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    Based on a True Story: Not a Memoir Wild, dangerous, and flat-out unbelievable, here is the incredible memoir of the actor, gambler, raconteur, and SNL veteran and one of the best stand-up comedians of all time.

    As this book’s title suggests, Norm Macdonald tells the story of his life – more or less – from his origins on a farm in the-back-of-beyond Canada and an epically disastrous appearance on Star Search to his account of auditioning for Lorne Michaels and his memorable run as the anchor of Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live – until he was fired because a corporate executive didn’t think he was funny.

    But Based on a True Story is much more than a memoir; it’s the hilarious, inspired epic of Norm’s life. In dispatches from a road trip to Las Vegas (part of a plan hatched to regain the fortune he’d lost to sports betting and other vices) with his sidekick and enabler, Adam Eget, Norm recounts the milestone moments, the regrets, the love affairs, the times fortune smiled on his life, and the times it refused to smile. As the clock ticks down, Norm’s debt reaches record heights, and he must find a way to evade the hefty price that’s been placed on his head by one of the most dangerous loan sharks in the country.

    As a comedy legend should, Norm peppers these minutes with classic jokes and fondly mythologized Hollywood stories. This wildly adventurous, totally original, and absurdly funny saga turns the conventional comic’s memoir on its head and gives the listener an exclusive pass into the mad, glorious mind of Norm Macdonald.

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    Whiskey & Roses (The Xander King Series Book 1) The world knows him as a handsome, charismatic, and successful young businessman. The CIA knows Xander as the US military’s most legendary soldier, turned vigilante assassin, who sharpens his skills in the shadows until he can exact revenge on the monster that murdered his family. They have watched his double life go on long enough, and now the government wants their weapon back.

    Xander has different plans.

    After a passionate night with Hollywood sweetheart, Natalie Rockwell, is violently interrupted by a surprise attack at Xander’s home, those plans are set in motion. Xander’s experts say it’s suicide, but with the CIA closing in, he must sidestep them and take the fight directly to his rival. With unlimited resources and unimaginable skills, Xander’s enemy will need an army to survive his wrath. Turns out, that’s precisely what he has. This is no longer just about revenge, this is war.

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    Letters to Die For (Books to Die For Book 4) Burned-out software engineer Jake Martin and his Golden Retriever, Fred, live in a mountain cabin far enough from Denver to escape the rat-race but not far enough to escape its crime. While remodeling an old house he uncovers a stack of love letters that will turn his world inside out.

    When word of the letters gets out, people start dying, including the owner of the house Jake was remodeling. With his main source of income gone, he lets his friend and neighbor, Bonnie Jones, talk him into searching for the killer after they are offered a large retainer. The problem is the person who hires them is the major suspect.

    With the help of Fred and Bonnie, Jake continues to find more evidence that his new employer is trying to create a smokescreen to divert attention from himself. Will the trio of amateur detectives be able to stop the murders, or will they become the next victims?

    Click Here for the best price!


    Don’t have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or you can download a Free Kindle Reading App for your computer or mobile device!

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  • AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Shrill

    AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Shrill

    A new deal every day from Audible. Today’s deal ends 03/24/2018 @ 11:59PM PT.

    Shrill: Notes from a Loud WomanShrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West

    Over 1,900 5-Star Reviews!

    Hailed by Lena Dunham as an "essential (and hilarious) voice for women", Lindy West is ferociously witty and outspoken, tackling topics as varied as pop culture, social justice, and body image. Her empowering work has garnered a coast-to-coast audience that eagerly awaits Shrill, her highly anticipated literary debut.

    West has rocked the public in work published everywhere from The Guardian to GQ and heard on This American Life. She is a catalyst for a national conversation in a world where not all stories are created equal and not everybody is treated with equal respect. Shrill is comprised of a series of essays that bravely share her life, including her transition from quiet to feminist-out-loud, coming of age in a popular culture that is hostile to women (especially fat, funny women), and how keeping quiet is not an option for any of us.

    Click Here to Start Listening!

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  • AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Digging Up Mother

    AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 Digging Up Mother

    A new deal every day from Audible. Today’s deal ends 03/19/2018 @ 11:59PM PT.

    Digging Up Mother: A Love StoryDigging Up Mother: A Love Story
    by Doug Stanhope, Johnny Depp – foreword

    Over 2,000 5-Star Reviews!

    Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie. It was the cartoons in HER Hustler magazine issues that molded the beginnings of his comedic journey, long before he was old enough to know what to do with the actual pornography. It was Bonnie who recited Monty Python sketches with him, who introduced him to Richard Pryor at nine years old, and who rescued him from a psychologist when he brought that brand of humor to school. And it was Bonnie who took him along to all of her AA meetings, where Doug undoubtedly found inspiration for his own storytelling.

    Bonnie’s own journey from bartending to truck driving, massage therapy, elder abuse, and stand-up comedy and acting never stopped her from being Doug’s genuine number one fan. So when Bonnie’s alcoholic, hoarding life finally came to an end so many weird adventures later in rural Arizona, it was inevitable that Doug and Bonnie would be together for one last journey.

    Digging Up Mother follows Doug’s absurd, chaotic, and often obscene life as it intersects with that of his best friend, his biggest fan, and the love of his life: his mother, Bonnie. And it all starts with her death – one of the most memorable and amazing farewells you will ever hear.

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