Tag: Humor

  • AUDIBLE Deal of the Day 🎧 The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared

    A new deal every day from Audible. Today’s deal ends 10/29/2017 @ 11:59PM PT.

    The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and DisappearedThe 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson

    ⭐⭐⭐ TODAY ONLY ⭐⭐⭐
    Over 2,000 5-Star Reviews!

    After a long and eventful life, Allan Karlsson ends up in a nursing home, believing it to be his last stop. The only problem is that he’s still in good health, and in one day, he turns 100.

    A big celebration is in the works, but Allan really isn’t interested (and he’d like a bit more control over his vodka consumption). So he decides to escape. He climbs out the window in his slippers and embarks on a hilarious and entirely unexpected journey, involving, among other surprises, a suitcase stuffed with cash, some unpleasant criminals, a friendly hot-dog stand operator, and an elephant (not to mention a death by elephant).

    Quirky and utterly unique, The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared has charmed over 2 million people around the world.

    Click Here to Start Listening!

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  • Saturday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Romance, Legal Thriller, Humor, Mystery, Biographies & Memoirs, Fantasy, Nonfiction, Science Fiction… today’s featured books have a little something for everyone!

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    For non-U.S. readers, Kindle content availability and pricing will vary.

    Snowbound in Sweetwater Ranch (Logan's Legacy) Enjoy this fan-favorite by New York Times bestselling author RaeAnne Thayne.

    After an unbelievable makeover gave her the confidence to strut her stuff at a charity ball, Kate Crosby went from harmless flirt to bedroom vixen. But she wasn’t about to let a single night of ohsosultry passion with archenemy Peter Logan become anything more. Of course, she didn’t count on seeing their liplock featured in the local paper!

    Finally able to track the mysterious beauty down to a remote cabin, Peter learns the truth about her identity—and that she is going to have his baby. Unable to stop thinking about Kate since the moment she walked into his life and now snowed in together at her family’s cabin, Peter needs to convince her that their onenight stand should become a forlife stand, before the plows reach the isolated mountain hideaway and Kate leaves for good.

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    The Trial Lawyer (Thaddeus Murfee Legal Thriller Series Book 10) Thaddeus Murfee is a young criminal lawyer. He has a wife, kids, and a strong sense of justice. Yet, all of that is about to change forever. And there is nothing he can do to stop it.

    Or is there?

    A longtime friend has been arrested for driving drunk and causing a death. The friend also happens to be the District Attorney. Thaddeus agrees to meet. He learns about the DA’s drinking. He learns that the DA’s wife is on the prowl with strange men, and the DA is dangerously close to murder.

    Thaddeus sets out to defend. Two months in, he is savagely attacked. His office puts in a call to Christine Susmann. His old paralegal drops what she is doing and hurries to his side. Together again, Thaddeus and Christine mount their defense of the DA and mount their drive to bring Thaddeus back to health.

    At last the case goes to trial. For the first time ever, Thaddeus is unsure of his abilities in front of a jury. He stumbles. Will he recover and carry the fight?

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    Pride and Prejudice and Zombies “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

    So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem.

    As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton – and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers – and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry?

    Complete with romance, heartbreak, sword fights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you’d actually want to read.

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    Dreaming at Seaside (Sweet with Heat: Seaside Summers Book 2) Bella Abbascia has returned to Seaside Cottages in Wellfleet, Massachusetts, as she does every summer. Only this year, Bella has more on her mind than sunbathing and skinny-dipping with her girlfriends. She’s quit her job, put her house on the market, and sworn off relationships while she builds a new life in her favorite place on earth. That is, until good-time Bella’s prank takes a bad turn and a handsome police officer appears on the scene.

    Single father and police officer Caden Grant left Boston with his fourteen-year-old son, Evan, after his partner was killed in the line of duty. He hopes to find a safer life in the small resort town of Wellfleet, and when he meets Bella during a night patrol shift, he realizes he’s found the one thing he’d never allowed himself to hope for—or even realized he was missing.

    After fourteen years of focusing solely on his son, Caden cannot resist the intense attraction he feels toward beautiful Bella, and Bella’s powerless to fight the heat of their budding romance. But starting over proves more difficult than either of them imagined, and when Evan gets mixed up with the wrong kids, Caden’s loyalty is put to the test. Will he give up everything to protect his son—even Bella?

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    Double Whammy (Skink Book 1) Over 100 5-Star Reviews!

    “Follow the adventures of a news-photographer-turned-private-eye as he seeks truth, justice, and an affair with his ex-wife” (The New York Times) in this hilarious caper from bestselling author Carl Hiaasen.

    R.J. Decker, star tenant of the local trailer park and neophyte private eye is fishing for a killer. Thanks to a sportsman’s scam that’s anything but sportsmanlike, there’s a body floating in Coon Bog, Florida—and a lot that’s rotten in the murky waters of big-stakes, large-mouth bass tournaments. Here Decker will team up with a half-blind, half-mad hermit with an appetite for road kill; dare to kiss his ex-wife while she’s in bed with her new husband; and face deadly TV evangelists, dangerously seductive women, and a pistol-toting redneck with a pit bull on his arm. And here his own life becomes part of the stakes. For while the “double whammy” is the lure, first prize is for the most ingenious murder.

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    Russian Tattoo: A Memoir Finalist for the William Saroyan International Prize for Writing

    From the bestselling author of A Mountain of Crumbs, a “brilliant and illuminating” (BookPage) portrait of mothers and daughters that reaches from Cold War Russia to modern-day New Jersey to show how the ties that hold you back can also teach you how to start over.

    Elena Gorokhova moves to the US in her twenties to join her American husband and to break away from her mother, a mirror image of her Soviet Motherland: overbearing, protective, and difficult to leave. Before the birth of Elena’s daughter, her mother comes to help care for the baby and stays for twenty-four years, ordering everyone to eat soup and wear a hat, just as she did in Leningrad.

    Russian Tattoo is the story of a unique balancing act and a family struggle: three generations of strong women with very different cultural values, all living under the same roof and battling for control. As Elena strives to bridge the gap between the cultures of her past and present and find her place in a new world, she comes to love the fierce resilience of her Soviet mother when she recognizes it in her American daughter.

    “Gorokhova writes about her life with a novelist’s gift,” says The New York Times, and her second memoir is filled with empathy, insight, and humor.

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    New Moon Rising (Samantha Moon Origins Book 1) Mother, wife, federal agent…mortal.

    Samantha Moon hadn’t always been a vampire. Once, she had been a wife and mother, happily married to her soul mate and raising two adorable kids. Once, she had been a federal agent investigating a world teeming with sophisticated scams, drugs, human trafficking and violence. She had hippie parents and a caring sister. She had a small home with an irritatingly detached garage. She had friends, colleagues and normalcy.

    That is, until she caught the eye of something evil…

    But first, she has a job to do. When her HUD team of federal agents is sent in as backup on a drug raid, she spots a mysterious business card on the fridge. Later, she finds the same card during a routine inspection. Convinced the narcotics traffickers are more widespread than initially thought and are taking advantage of those in need, Sam can’t let it go – even after the gang tries to send her a message written in lead.

    Yes, her days at the Department of Housing and Urban Development are typically boring, her worst fear, a paper cut, but little does she know that she has attracted the attention of something dark and hungry. Something that’s about to steal her mortal life… and change her forever.

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    The Disaster Preparedness Handbook: A Guide for Families Ninety-nine percent of the time, the world spins like a top, the skies are clear, and your refrigerator is full of good food… But the world is a volatile place—storms rage, fires burn, and diseases spread. No one is ever completely safe. Humans live as part of a very complex ecosystem that is unpredictable and merciless. Could you protect your family in the case of an emergency—domestic or global?

    The Disaster Preparedness Handbook will help you to establish a practical disaster plan for your entire family (covering all fourteen basic human needs) in case the unpredictable happens. Additional information is also presented for those with special needs, including the elderly and disabled, children, pregnant women, and even pets. Well-researched by an army veteran and current NASA engineer, this is the essential guide every family should have, study, and keep handy, in case the unthinkable should occur.

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    An Affair to Dismember (Matchmaker Mysteries Book 1) Three months has been Gladie Burger’s limit when it comes to staying in one place. That’s why Gladie is more than a little skeptical when her Grandma Zelda – who is more than a little psychic – recruits her into the family’s matchmaking business in the quaint small town of Cannes, California. What’s more, Gladie is also highly unqualified, having a terrible track record with romance. Still, Zelda is convinced that her granddaughter has her clairvoyant “gift.” But when the going gets tough, Gladie wonders if this gift has a return policy.

    When Zelda’s neighbor drops dead in his kitchen, Gladie is swept into his bizarre family’s drama. Despite warnings from the (distractingly gorgeous) chief of police to steer clear of his investigation, Gladie is out to prove that her neighbor’s death was murder. It’s not too long before she’s in way over her head—with the hunky police chief, a dysfunctional family full of possible killers, and yet another mysterious and handsome man, whose attentions she’s unable to ignore. Gladie is clearly being pursued—either by true love or by a murderer. Who will catch her first?

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    The Atomic Sea: Volume One of an Epic Fantasy / Science Fiction Adventure Series A thousand years ago, the sea changed. And the change spread. No one knows why… till now.

    Dr. Francis Avery drowns his memories in whiskey. Years after the Empire of Octung killed his family, his only drives are alcohol and striking back against Octung. While aboard a military whaling ship far out on the eerie Atomic Sea, a series of murders forces him to track down the killer.

    Along the way, a mysterious woman named Layanna is pulled from the toxic, lightning-wreathed depths of the water. Though it’s impossible, she’s alive, and she has a secret: she’s the only one who can stop Octung. But she’ll need Avery’s help to accomplish her mission. If they fail, the entire world will fall under Octung’s bloodthirsty, murderous shadow. What follows is an epic quest like you’ve never seen before.

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  • Tuesday’s Free & Bargain Kindle Book Deals

    Thriller, Romance, Humor, Mystery, Historical Fiction, Historical Romance, Nonfiction, Science Fiction, Biographies & Memoirs… today’s featured books have a little something for everyone!

    Like what you see? Got friends who like to read? Use Facebook to SHARE Pixel of Ink and share the joy!

    For non-U.S. readers, Kindle content availability and pricing will vary.

    New York Deep Deep below Manhattan, tunnel engineer Josh Reed leads his team as they excavate the East Side Access extending New York’s railway service. But sparks fly as the drill hits an unusual crystalline material—one Josh has never seen before. They push on and Josh discovers something even more unexpected… a vast room, empty and lifeless.

    Or so it seems.

    When Josh finds out that the CIA are now looking for him, and that his co-workers have gone missing, he turns to his best friend and boss Lionel Parker for help. Together they unravel the mystery of the room, what’s inside it, and why the CIA are so desperate to keep them silent.

    It’s nothing they could ever have expected.

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    Christmas at Tiffany's: A Novel What do you do when the man you pledged your life to breaks your heart and shatters your dreams? You pack your bags and travel the big, wide world to find your destiny—and your true love…

    Ten years ago, a young and naïve Cassie married her first serious boyfriend, believing he would be with her forever. Now her marriage is in tatters and Cassie has no career or home of her own. Though she feels betrayed and confused, Cassie isn’t giving up. She’s going to take control of her life. But first she has to find out where she belongs… and who she wants to be.

    Over the course of one year, Cassie leaves her sheltered life in rural Scotland to stay with her best friends living in the most glamorous cities in the world: New York, Paris, and London. Exchanging comfort food and mousy hair for a low-carb diet and a gorgeous new look, Cassie tries each city on for size as she searches for the life she’s meant to have… and the man she’s meant to love.

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    The Supervillain Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide to Destruction and Mayhem Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you!

    With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!

    Click Here for the best price!


    And When She Was Good: A Novel New York Times best-selling author Laura Lippman delivers a brilliant novel about a woman with a secret life who is forced to make desperate choices to save her son and herself.

    Heloise considers it a blessing to be a person who seldom attracts attention. In her suburb, she’s just a mom, the young widow with the forgettable job, who somehow never misses a soccer game. In the state capital, she’s the redheaded lobbyist with a good cause and a mediocre track record. But in discreet hotel rooms throughout the area, she’s the woman of your dreams – if you can afford the hourly fee.

    For more than a decade, Heloise believed she was safe, managing to keep up this rigidly compartmentalized life. But her secret life is under siege. One county over, another so-called suburban madam has been found dead in her car, an apparent suicide. As 40 looms and her son enters adolescence, Heloise is facing a midlife crisis with much higher stakes than most will ever know. With no formal education, no real family or friends, Heloise has to remake her life – again. Disappearing will be the easy part. The trick is living long enough to start a new life.

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    The Last Witchfinder: A Novel Jennet Stearne’s father hangs witches for a living in Restoration England. But when she witnesses the unjust and horrifying execution of her beloved aunt Isobel, the precocious child decides to make it her life’s mission to bring down the Parliamentary Witchcraft Act.

    Armed with little save the power of reason, and determined to see justice prevail, Jennet hurls herself into a series of picaresque adventures—traveling from King William’s Britain to the fledgling American Colonies to an uncharted island in the Caribbean, braving West Indies pirates, Algonquin Indian captors, the machinations of the Salem Witch Court, and the sensuous love of a young Ben Franklin. For Jennet cannot and must not rest until she has put the last witchfinder out of business.

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    Christmas on the Mersey An emotional and compelling wartime drama from the author of Only a Mother Knows and A Christmas Promise. Perfect for fans of Katie Flynn.

    The phoney war is over and Hitler’s bombs are raining down on the city of Liverpool.

    Rita Kennedy is forced to face some unpalatable truths about her husband, Charlie. But she must still play the part of dutiful wife, while her childhood sweetheart, Jack Callaghan, has shown her nothing but kindness. Can they keep a check on their emotions or will their friendship develop into something more?

    For Kitty Callaghan, burying herself in her work distracts from the constant worry about her brothers. Tommy is back from his evacuee posting after falling ill, but now he faces danger in another guise. And what about Danny, always ducking and diving and up to no good? And then there’s Frank Feeny, the man she adores. Will they ever be together?

    With a Christmas of rationing and ‘going without’ to look forward to, the women of Empire Street are being tested like never before. But their troubles are only just beginning…

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    Stoned: Jewelry, Obsession, and How Desire Shapes the World Over 100 5-Star Reviews!

    As entertaining as it is incisive, Stoned is a raucous journey through the history of human desire for what is rare, and therefore precious.

    What makes a stone a jewel? What makes a jewel priceless? And why do we covet beautiful things? In this brilliant account of how eight jewels shaped the course of history, jeweler and scientist Aja Raden tells an original and often startling story about our unshakeable addiction to beauty and the darker side of human desire.

    What moves the world is what moves each of us: desire. Jewelry—which has long served as a stand-in for wealth and power, glamor and success—has birthed cultural movements, launched political dynasties, and started wars. Masterfully weaving together pop science and history, Stoned breaks history into three categories—Want, Take, and Have—and explains what the diamond on your finger has to do with the GI Bill, why green-tinted jewelry has been exalted by so many cultures, why the glass beads that bought Manhattan for the Dutch were initially considered a fair trade, and how the French Revolution started over a coveted necklace.

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    Mona Lisa Overdrive William Gibson, author of the extraordinary multiaward-winning novel Neuromancer, has written his most brilliant and thrilling work to date…The Mona Lisa Overdrive.  

    Enter Gibson’s unique world–lyric and mechanical, erotic and violent, sobering and exciting–where multinational corporations and high tech outlaws vie for power, traveling into the computer-generated universe known as cyberspace.  Into this world comes Mona, a young girl with a murky past and an uncertain future whose life is on a collision course with internationally famous Sense/Net star Angie Mitchell.  Since childhood, Angie has been able to tap into cyberspace without a computer.  Now, from inside cyberspace, a kidnapping plot is masterminded by a phantom entity who has plans for Mona, Angie, and all humanity, plans that cannot be controlled… or even known.  And behind the intrigue lurks the shadowy Yazuka, the powerful Japanese underworld, whose leaders ruthlessly manipulate people and events to suit their own purposes… or so they think.

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    To Hair and Back: My Journey Toward Self-Love One Strand at a Time If hair was a woman’s crowning glory, then why did Rhonda Eason have a mass of uncontrollable tumbleweed at best? At worst, it was a source of frustration and self-condemnation. Raised in a family of women born with tresses suitable for romance novel heroines, Rhonda was apathetic toward her kinky coils, and, in turn, herself. To Hair and Back – My Journey Toward Self-Love One Strand at a Time is a debut memoir that details her quest for the perfect head of hair and the discovery of something far more meaningful. In this endearing personal narrative, she explores the question: If I am not my hair, then who am I?

    Beginning in a Detroit ghetto and traversing the globe, the author boldly reveals the joy, despair, pride, and public humiliation she experienced while in search of her best self. Through humorous self-introspection, Rhonda uses her passion for hair to explore the dynamics of her relationships, as well as themes of race and gender. To Hair and Back takes the reader on a journey of a child bullied because of her knotty roots through her adventurous life-long crusade in search of the perfect hair.

    Masked as a need for creativity and a remedy for boredom, Rhonda’s obsession with her ever-changing hairstyles becomes a metaphor that anyone who has ever struggled with issues of self-worth will find relatable.

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    Found, Near Water (A Christchurch Crime Thriller Book 1) Her most terrifying fear is now a shocking reality.

    Rena Sutherland wakes from a coma into a horrifying nightmare. Following a car accident, Rena’s vulnerable young daughter Chloe has disappeared but no one cares, no one’s noticed. No one has been searching.

    When victim support officer Christine Emmett takes on Rena as a client, she must guide her through the confusion and destructive despair of Chloe’s disappearance. As anxiety and evidence mount, fears for the girl’s safety grow larger with each tick of the clock.

    While accusing fingers point at a frustrated ex-husband and a psychic’s arrival throws Rena into a panic of devastating hope, a murderous pedophile roams free in the community. Amid the mounting confusion, Christine must expose the truth if she is to save Chloe from a remorseless fate.

    Click Here for the best price!


    Don’t have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or you can download a Free Kindle Reading App for your computer or mobile device!

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    Prices are subject to change without notice. For non-U.S. readers, Kindle content availability and pricing will vary.